“When you’re under this roof, you’re gonna live by our rules,” is what those killjoy parents always say. No having friends over, no drinking, and no coming home at all hours of the night and making a ruckus. “We just want what’s best for you.”
Those rules are doubly degrading when adults are forced to move back in with their parents, upending that treasured independence that kids everywhere wait impatiently for.
My Stuff, My Rules
A Michigan father and mother, however, are now learning a hard lesson via the federal courts for being too nosy and throwing out their son’s rather, ahem, robust collection of pornography.
It all started when 42-year-old David Werking had to move back in with his parents after his divorce. After an incident involving the police that saw David move out of his parents’ home for three days, he returned to find that his copious bounty of bawdy adventures was missing.
In an email to his son, Paul Werking said, “Frankly, David, I did you a big favor getting rid of all this stuff.” (That’s what all the dads say.)
To be fair, David’s parents claim they were concerned that some of the lusty loot was child pornography, but a review by local police found no evidence of this.
David then did what any upset child would do after their parents throw out their tastefully curated selection of filmed and photographed fornication: He sued them in federal court.
A Costly Trip to the Trash Can
U.S. District Judge for the Western District of Michigan Paul Maloney ruled in David’s favor, ruling that his parents illegally “converted” David’s booty to their own use.
Maloney cited long-standing Michigan case law, which holds that “conversion to one’s own use … could include destruction due to the converter’s belief in [the destroyed item’s] deleterious effects.”
In short: Your son is an adult; you’ve got to let him live his life the way he sees fit.
Maloney scheduled a mid-February deadline for written submissions on damages. David’s stash of smut, which his lawyer contends is “a collection of often irreplaceable items and property,” is valued in the lawsuit at more than $25,000. The suit also contends that the successful claim of conversion of property entitles David to triple damages.
Maybe next time parents find themselves in a similar situation, they should consider the other old standby of “I don’t wanna know” when it comes to their children.